Worn Out for a Purpose

So this update was supposed to be sent yesterday but right before I was going to send it I got a phone call and I had to run back to the orphanage so this is the update I wrote yesterday:
These past two days have been busy ones. I am worn out but that is good. I have realized that at the end of each day if I am not worn out that means that I didn't give everything I have to offer to these kids. I know that having fun and going out with volunteers at night is important but the orphanage comes first. Going in the morning is hard. The kids are hard to stay patient with and even harder to keep going. I get peed on, pooped on, spit at, hit, and kicked. But I know that they need me there. My consistency is something new for them and for the Aunties and you can tell that they really appreciate it.
Then I go back in the afternoon around 1 or 2 until 6 when I go and have dinner. During that time I get to spend some time with the babies and toddlers but most of the time with the older kids. Being with the older kids is really what I need to keep going. I also know that this shouldn't always be easy and that is why I continue to go in the mornings even when I sometimes feel as if there is nothing more I can do. Over the past few days I have been struggling a lot with the boy from Darfur, Abdoulsalam. A woman came into the orphanage and gave him false hope of adopting him and taking him back to America.
Last night, I sat there as he cried with me and John (a volunteer who speaks French). The woman wanted us to explain to him that she might not be able to adopt him when she already told him she could. So he sat there sobbing. He was saying that at the home he has no friends, family, and can't even go to school (The Ghanaian government won't allow him to go to public school since he is a refugee without identification). He said he just wants to go back to the refugee camp and back to his home that does not exist anymore. I was so angry with this woman and hurting for Abdul so much. Someone once told me that I can't get myself emotionally involved with these kids because it is too hard. I know that is true but I don't know how to love them properly without getting myself involved. My heart is aching for this boy.
Jessie and I set up for some dancers and drummers to come to the home last night to put on a show for the kids and they seemed to really enjoy it. All the little boys and girl were dancing and even the older boys came to participate. The older girls stay in their home from 3:30-school the next morning. They won't tell me why; they say that they just don't want to come out. The past couple of days all of the kids have been running fevers and so I am hoping that I don't get sick.
Yesterday I never left the home, I spent from 8am-7pm there yesterday, which is why I didn't e-mail. I am also just so overwhelmed with emotion to write properly and in a way that makes sense to others. So I apologize if this e-mail seems a little off. I am enjoying my time here so much and everyday I am sad to leave the kids. Tomorrow is a Saturday and I don't have to work but I think I am going to go into the orphanage anyway. I'll write more later, I am just tired. I am good I am still just fighting to understand. But I know that there is something so much bigger than me working here. I am planning on making a little booklet for volunteers about what to do in the orphanage since they don't really tell you. Also, I am going to work on making a scheduled event for each week that volunteers can carry on while I am gone. I hope everything is good at home. Sorry for anyone who has been trying to call me, my phone has been acting up. Miss you.