Respected Cause of Innocence

I am just going to jump straight in. There are some days here when I just feel so spiritually defeated. I find it so hard sometimes because there is just simply no one here to talk to about it. There aren't volunteers here that came based on faith because generally those volunteers go through religious organizations. However, I didn't. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. I was so down and just very irritated at everything around me. One of those moods that no matter how hard you try you can't shake. My faith is being challenged here more than it ever has before and yesterday I just found myself alone and needing someone to talk to.
Thankfully I had a friend from home call me last night and talk me through it but I am just having days where it is so difficult to keep chugging. Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but I just sometimes feel defeated. My sleeping has not been getting better, worse if anything. I fall asleep but then I am waking up in the night and having these interactive dreams that prevent me from recharging at the end of a long day. My roommate isn't the biggest fan of me considering I end up yelling a lot during the night. I wake up in the morning feeling as if I haven't slept at all.
As for everything else; Ghana has put me in this place of love and hate. There are some days, like today, when I think I never want to have kids haha but then others when I know that the little demons will move past those obnoxious stages. Today I got peed on twice, kicked, hit, and got dirt thrown in my face. What a day! We have been moving into a very interesting stage with the children because in the morning we are trying not to pick the kids up as much because when they move into school age they are never picked up. I guess that makes sense but I am struggling to find a balance of giving them the physical affection I know they need and still understanding that if I give them too much it will be a drastic change.
My twi has been getting more developed and it is really helping me to communicate with the kids which is nice. I find that their favorite thing for me to do is spin them around by their arms or hang them upside down. As for the older boys, I have been thinking of ways I can minister to them more than I am. I have been helping a lot of them with reading and vocabulary and am hoping to have my mom bring some easy read young adult books for the boys. I have also been helping them with Math but that can be frustrating because I learned a different way than they are teaching. Good news- the administration really likes me and so does the house father. I was told that my innocence was very encouraging and that they knew I would be a good influence on the boys. I guess my lifestyle choices are paying off. I am very respected in a place where a lot of volunteers feel unwanted which is a great feeling. I have a lot more to write about random things but I will tell you about them tomorrow. :) Hope all is well!