Being Honest

Sorry that it has been a few days since I have e-mailed last. Things here are pretty crazy and yet relaxed at the same time.

We have started to discipline the toddlers in the morning now--that is stressful--but necessary. Every time they hit another kid or me I pick them up and hold them in the corner. Personally, I think that for them that is worse than being hit. They are used to getting hit but holding them in a corner where they can't move tortures them; of course we don't keep them there for a long time, they are only toddlers. We probably end up holding them there for about 45 seconds to a minute but they absolutely hate it. It has been working well and the Aunties are really open to trying new ways of discipline. There is this one boy Kojo who always bites the other kids and at the beginning of our time in the morning I take him in the corner once every few minutes but by the end he has shaped up.

The kids had off yesterday for Good Friday and then they also have Monday off because the Easter celebration here is intense (so I hear). Yesterday was a really frustrating and hard day for me. I wasn't planning on sharing this but I think it needs to be said. On Thursday night one of my friends got robbed. He was taking a taxi home and a car stopped in front of him. Eight men got out of the car (one with crowbar and another with a knife) and robbed him. They didn't hurt him in any way but they took his phone, money, and ATM card (he had just gotten money out of the bank).

This really scared me. I spent the whole day yesterday just struggling to get through the day. I found myself very homesick and wanting the luxuries of home. I was unsettled all day. The kids even noticed. One of the boys asked me why I was so sad and I just explained to him that sometimes it is hard being so far from home. We ended up talking for a long time and he cheered me up but I still felt uneasy. I went home last night for dinner and didn't want to go out again. I had told a couple people that I would go out with them but I just didn't feel right and told them I was in a weird mood and didn't want to go. But one of my friends, Lara, decided that I couldn't stay in. She told me that if I was feeling sad and upset that I needed to go out because it would just get worse staying in. So she came to my house and got me and decided that we needed to have a night of just Western fun (as close as we could get).

We ended up going to this place where you could rent out a room that had a TV and DVD player and movies to choose from. The rooms were air conditioned by a space heater (or cooler) and they had a couch. This is Ghana's version of a movie theatre. So five of us ended up watching Hairspray in the room and it really brought me out of my fog. Things aren't always easy here. I know that you know that, and I know I say it quite often but sometimes they are just harder than I know how to handle. I am lucky that Lara was such a good friend and came and got me out of the house.

Keep in mind that I did not tell this story to you to scare you or for you to worry about me but to be honest. I need prayers here and so do the other volunteers. I am very smart and never take a bag out at night but this doesn't mean that I am always %100 safe. I need prayers to be able to pull myself out of those occasional moods I find myself in.

On the bright side one of the boys told me yesterday how much he thought I was making a difference. He told me that I am loving these kids when the Aunties can't and giving them a break from reality so that they can have some fun. He was funny because he knows that I am only here for a few months but he said, "So how many years are you staying?" and just had a huge smile on his face. They always ask about my brothers as well. Yesterday they were asking if my brothers knew that I had older brothers here. There are certain parts of my day that make it all worth it. A certain smile or a certain joke.

Don't worry about me because I am good. Prayers are always needed but that is normal. I have to make a college decision soon.........crap. I am not going to write about any of the boys today because I think that this e-mail is pretty long. Please tell me if you ever feel like I am repeating myself. I miss you guys. New Pictures are up!