I know that I haven't written since my last very upsetting e-mail so I thought that I would send out a happier one. This week has been hard, there is no doubt about it. I have watched my friends wrestle with what the witnessed on Saturday night and I have sat with some of them for hours without them talking. The counseling session that was held for the volunteers turned into people blaming people on who was to blame. There was a service held last night with all the volunteers but I couldn't bring myself to go. It took me four days to get it off of my mind and I just couldn't revisit it again. Anyway I promised you a happy e-mail so I am going to move away from this topic.
It is my last week in Ghana and I have been soaking up every minute of it. I don't sleep much because I want to spend my remaining hours awake so that the time will go slower. I have been running errands of things that I put off for the past four months and working on finalizing things with the older boys.
Leaving here might possibly be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. The boys aren't making it very easy either. Every time I see Kwesi he tells me that time is running and it makes me cringe. A couple of the boys called my mom and told her that I wasn't coming home and that I was staying here and that they were sorry but she couldn't have me back.
One of the boys told me that he couldn't say goodbye to me on Monday because he didn't want to cry. I tell them that we can't worry about me leaving until Monday but they still seem to bring it up. Okos told me that I did something here that no other volunteer has ever done before. I find it hard to believe but if it is true than that is a good feeling.
I know that I am not talking about anything important but this has been what my last few days has been like. I have helped one of my boys sell phone credit at the roadside. I have helped pack up a roadside stand and push a cart down the road to storage at 11pm. I have stayed outside everynight until at least 1am just looking at the stars and enjoying my last days.
My dinners are all planned out for the next four days as they were before I came to Ghana. Every day my twi becomes improved and more developed. I bought a shirt that said 100% Ghanaian. I had a conversation in twi with a taxi driver. Then he let me direct him to Labone Junction from the market on my own. That is a twenty-minute drive and I could show him the way by myself and so he told me that I was a black American and that I belonged in Ghana.
I took my fabric to the dress maker and I will pick up my dresses on Sunday. I am spending a lot of time with my friend David because right now he is the only one left that was here when I first arrived and one of few that was here when I moved into the orphanage. I'm trying to get in some last minute sun so that I can prove to you people that I was in Africa for 4 months and got a decent tan... haha.
This afternoon one of the boys is going to teach me how to carry things on my head.
I think this should be said as well: I am not terrified of coming home. I am terrified of leaving the children. I am so excited to come home and see my family and friends. So excited to go to Chipotle and Noodles and sleep in my hammock. I know that some of you are worried that I will hate home when I get there but the truth is I am not going to. Yes, it will be a hard adjustment but that is natural. I have never been good at change. Sometimes I will feel heartbroken and missing the kids. Sometimes I will be angry looking at the wealth in Glen Ellyn but that is something I have been preparing myself for since I arrived. I can't wait to drive my car with the windows down and the music turned up. I know that I will be back here. Maybe not for another year or so but I have complete confidence that this is not my last time to Ghana. Not to mention all the other adventures that I am going to be going on.
So I will say this to you. I get home on Tuesday afternoon around 4:00 (that is when I should be at my house). So stop by and say hello to me because that is what is going to get me through. Seeing my friends and family will make coming home worth it.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
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