Tired

So I am feeling so exhausted. Everything about being here wears me out. Don't get me wrong I love being here but it wears me out. Yesterday when I went to the orphanage in the afternoon there was a boy standing there kicking a soccer ball around. He kicked it towards me and we started to kick back and forth. After a while he walked over to me and introduced himself. His name was Abdoulsalam (he told me how to spell it). I don't know if you remember but a couple of days ago I told you about a friend of mine who had met the boy from Darfur. Well that was Aboulsalam. He told me the same thing he told her which was that he was 13, walked from Sudan, and that his family was killed in Darfur (when he said this he made the imitation of a machine gun with his hands and voice). The government took him in as a refugee and put him into Osu children's home because they told him that there the caretakers would speak French. However, that is not true. No one in the entire orphanage speaks French except for the little French a couple of the volunteers know. So now he is living in a place where he cannot understand anyone and they can't understand him.
The only real connection he has to any of them is that he knows how to play soccer (better than all of the other boys). We tried to have a conversation but it was so hard considering I studied Spanish for 5 years and he barely knows any English. When the caretakers would give him his food he would eat half of it and then share with all the other kids around him who still wanted more.
Then there was a baby who came to the orphanage. 6 months old, about the length of a football and as thin as you could ever imagine. The baby's name is Ivan and he has HIV and malaria. You have to feed food to him so slowly or else he will just throw it up. But the aunties don't understand that so a volunteer will spend an hour feeding him slowly and then an auntie will come up and pour the rest of the bottle into his mouth and he will throw up everywhere defeating all the work that was just done, leaving him as skinny as when he started eating. He has six fingers on each hand and six toes on each foot.
Another boy Kojo, who has special needs pooped in his pants yesterday, while no one was watching be started playing with it. It was all over his arms and legs. So I spent 45 minutes trying to get him cleaned up ending up with poop all over me. Being with these kids is so much different than being with the kids in El Salvador. It is so much more difficult because there is not that spiritual connection. I struggle with this because there is only so much love that I can personally give them and I take that with me when I leave in three months. When I am feeding a child spiritually I know that it is something that will stick with them long after I am gone.
I know this is not the upbeat e-mail some of you were hoping for but this is what I am struggling with. I am tired, hot, and dirty. There are times when I feel like curling up into a ball and wishing that someone else would take over for me. I am ok, I am just seeing so much that I wish I could ignore. I need prayers of spiritual and mental strength. I love you guys and I hope everything there is good.