The Paradox

Some of the best times come with lights out (for those of you who don't know lights out means that the power is out).

Lying as still as you can as to not feel the heat...but still feeling the sweat drip off your body and sink into the 1 inch ash foam mattress beneath you.

But it is these times when the whole family gathers in the living room. Spreading out a sheet on the cool tile they all lie down to sleep...but it is only 7PM

Since it is still early in the night there is laughing that echoes through the house into the back room where Catherine (age 16) and I are...Catherine is on the ground with a straw mat and I am in my bed pressing my body against the window hoping for air.

We can hear Precious (age 9), Priscilla (age 13), Vero (my Ghanaian mom), Prince (my Ghanaian dad) praying and singing praise songs. Although they can't seem to make it through a prayer or song due to the fact that Precious is either imitating an over enthusiastic Ghanaian pastor or attempting to sing the bass line of a song.

Catherine and I are bursting into fits of laughter from our room listening to all the commotion.

But there is something so comforting about this. It reminds me of the days my brothers and I used to yell room to room late at night...mostly when my parents were out of town and we would have Jess Fischer staying with us. Or when we would all cram into my parents bed and no one would get any sleep because of all the giggling and shoving that would take place.

Family, love, and laughter heal pain. I am so thankful for that.

I have been having a lot of encouraging conversations in the past few days. A lot of conversations around allowing the pain I feel to be turned into love. That each time I feel pain, I need to be able to outwardly express it as love.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." Mother Teresa

This morning I am thankful.

I will be home in 4 days for a week break...my body is aching for that week break. :)


A picture of my sisters last May and their cousin. (Back left is cousin Lorattia, back middle is Priscilla, back right is Catherine, front and center (like her personality) Precious):