Introduction to the Boys

I am just going to jump straight in. Yesterday morning me and a few of the volunteers had an adventure to a pool with a few kids. There were 5 volunteers and 7 kids. Three of those kids have special needs and then we took four 6 year olds. So we hopped in a couple taxis and spent 4 hours at the pool. There was no shallow end of the pool except for the steps so we had to keep the special needs kids in the baby pool and then I took the four older kids in the big pool with me and another volunteer.
I spent all morning swimming back and forth with these kids on my back. The only time when the kids weren't on my back was when they were sitting on the steps. The only problem is that since I am short I had a hard time keeping my head above water while swimming with these kids-pretty funny if you ask me. The special needs kids really enjoyed it. They are actually never bathed other than with a damp cloth so to get them fully submerged into the water is really good. They had the biggest smiles on their faces and we just able to relax. There was no crying!!! :)

I am learning how to play this one instrument- it is kind of like a maraca. It is two large nuts that are hallowed out and filled with seeds and then attached together with a string. You hold one nut and then swing the other one around your hand to hit the other one and make a sound and then catch it and shake them together. It is really difficult and I have never been very good with rhythm.

It rained again last night just as I was about to leave and walk home! The kids wouldn't let me leave in the rain and lightning even if it meant I would miss my dinner. They made me call my roommates and tell them to save some dinner for me. I wasn't allowed to walk home until the rain had stopped. This rain is really helping our water situation!! It is unusual too because it is not the rainy season yet. I think I might get to shower today!!

I will finish this letter with a little bio about two of the boys from the home. I will start with the two I met first:

1. Alfred (His name is also Kwei). All of the kids have two names. The name they were given (Alfred) and then a name for the day of the week they were born on (Kwei = Boy born on Sunday). Alfred is 18 years old. He finished Senior High last April and won't attend University until fall of 2009. His mom is an Auntie that works at the home. The reason he has to wait so long to go to school is because his mom is already putting his older sister through University and doesn't have enough money yet to send Alfred as well. He wants to be a pilot but is going to study accounting in University and then after he might join the military to learn how to fly planes. He is a really sweet boy and a very genuine person. I might classify him as the kindest and most accepting of the boys. All of the babies love him and he allows all of the little kids to sit on his lap. He loves to read and speaks the best English out of all the boys. He laughs at me a lot and just laughs a lot in general. He loves when I tell him stories about random things. His key phrase to drive me crazy is "Are you sure?". He will say this after everything that I say just because he knows that a lot of the time I am not sure. He doesn't go to church every Sunday (which in Ghana is considered bad) but instead he stays in and studies his Bible. When I asked him why he doesn't go to church he told me because most boys just go to church but when they leave they go back and fight (hypocrites is what he means).

2. Seth (Kwame = boy born on Saturday). Seth is 16 years old and is in his last year of junior high. I believe this is the equivalent of our sophomore year of high school. He has exams this week which decides which Senior High he attends. Last night I spent 3 hours helping him study for his catering exam. It is kind of like our version of foods class but without the cooking. It teaches them how to set a table, table etiquette, and all about buying and preserving food. Also, what foods are healthy and what not. Seth is an orphan and is also very genuine. Alfred and Seth are best friends so they both have very kind hearts. Seth has trouble reading but we are working together to improve it (he reads out loud to me). He loves to play soccer (like most of the boys) and loves Goosebumps. When the younger boys are in trouble and are getting caned (yes different types of punishment, very hard to watch) they will always yell for Seth to help them and that ends up breaking his heart because he wants to be able to help them but knows that he will get in trouble. Seth goes to church most Sundays and always invites me to come with him so I think one of these Sundays when I am here I will go with him. He is the one that started calling me Acoco.

How Did I Get Here?

I am sorry I haven't written an e-mail lately. I have been really busy with the orphanage and then we went away this past weekend to a place called Kokrobite. It was a great weekend to just relax and hang out. There was live music on Friday and Sat. night and hammocks in between palm trees. Fresh pineapple juice and huts that were used as hotel rooms. If you looked at the pictures you probably saw a hut and that was my hotel room.

There are times when I look around and think how did I get here? All of my friends are still in school but somehow I am here. This whole experience seems so surreal and it is going by so fast. On Sunday night when we returned from the weekend it rained. Not just rained but poured! Two of my roommates and I ran outside and started laughing and dancing. They have thin enough hair that they were able to get shampoo out and wash their hair. Sadly, my hair is too thick. The past two days since it rained have been cooler than normal which is a miracle.

A lot of you have been asking why I only have pictures of the boys and I know I explained this before but I will explain again. The girls never leave their house at the home. They stay inside from after school until school the next day so I never get to talk to them or meet them. One of the older boys promised me he would take me over there at some point this week so that I could meet them. But yesterday I actually decided to take matters into my own hands and head over to their house to try and introduce myself. That didn't work so well because they weren't as interested in meeting me as I was them. So I think I might have that older boy take me back later this week so that he can help me out. The girls are very shy.

Today has been a sad day because last night we took one of our roommates to the airport. She has finished her placement here and is now going to South Africa for 3 months. She was definitely the positive energy in the house that I was really able to connect with so it was hard to say goodbye to her. She actually reminded me a lot of my cousin Chaille. So I went into the orphanage this morning feeling down and as soon as I walked in a little boy Joely ran up to me arms spread out and jumped into my arms. I am starting to realize that I need those kids as much as they need me and that when things get tough they still love me. I held Joely for almost an hour and a half until he fell asleep in my arms. These kids are stealing my heart.

3 Weeks have passed and I am already afraid of the time slipping away too quickly. I have important decisions to make while I am here and that can feel overwhelming at times. I will try and be better about writing. I think that I might write you an e-mail about just the older boys and tell you about each one. Would you like that? I won't do it if no one is interested. My roommate Amy is sick so I am off to buy her some food and then go take a shower! (I HAVE WATER TODAY!!!)

I miss Portillos

I have decided that transitions are lame so I am going to number my thoughts again. I hope you don't mind.
1. The heat is becoming unbearable. The sun is twice as hot and I sweat 8 times as much as I did when I arrived. The temp. is reaching in the 100's at some points during the day. However, the past two nights we have had lightning!!! No rain, but lightning!! And this morning the sky spitted rain for about 3 minutes. The rainy season is coming and I can't wait. Water has become almost impossible to come by. Pretty soon here I am going to have to start wearing dirty clothes because I have no water to wash them in. I smell. I long for the days when I was a shampoo girl and my hands always smelled of soap! haha
2. I have started to walk home a lot more. It used to be a twenty minute walk home but then one of the boys from outside the home (he is a friend that always comes to the home to play soccer) showed me a shortcut to my house so now it is about a fifteen minute walk. Walking home is the one part of my day when I can just unwind and think about everything. It gives me a chance to tackle my racing mind and breathe a little bit.
3. I realize I haven't talked too much about meals so I will tell you a little bit about that. For breakfast every morning I get a slice of bread with jam (We bought the jam from the market). For lunch I get crackers and a juice box. Then for dinner we have a lot of different meals throughout the week. We get more meat than I thought we would but also a lot of carbs. Some nights we will have yams, meatballs, and this spicy tomato sauce. Yams here are very different from Yams in America. They are more like potatoes. The meatballs are very small and dry but taste pretty good with the tomato sauce and yams combined. The tomato sauce we get at most meals. It is super super spicy but adds a kick to the bland. We have a lot of rice and then some nights we have this spinach dish. It is spinach mixed with different kinds of nuts and seeds that you put over rice. Sometimes we will have chicken. On Saturday nights they try and make us veggie omelettes with chips (french fries). Some nights we will have noodles with a veggie, meat sauce over it. The food is not bad at all. I really enjoy it to be honest.
4. I miss Portillos and milk.
5. Sometimes when I am walking around I find it hard to breathe. The fumes from burning garbage and cars can overwhelm me a great deal and it can be hard to take a deep breath.
6. I found a fried rice stand that I love!!! It only costs 1 cedi 50 pesewas for a huge thing of fried rice and chicken!! That is about $1.50. It is right by the orphanage so I can get it for lunch.
7. Yesterday was Ghana's Independence Day. There was a parade but there was too much traffic to get to the actually parade. It didn't seem too much different from an average day in Ghana because Ghanaians are always showing their pride. Sometimes I almost feel as if I am on a college campus because everyone is always wearing their Ghana T-shirts and colors.
8. I feel so blessed for everything in my life especially my family. I watch these kids fight for love and I am so grateful to be so close to my parents and brothers as well as all my extended family. Being here makes me miss my brothers a whole lot more than I did at home because some of the kids in the home have siblings and I get to watch them take care of each other. I hope everything is well back home. Pray for rain! We need rain so badly.

Respected Cause of Innocence

I am just going to jump straight in. There are some days here when I just feel so spiritually defeated. I find it so hard sometimes because there is just simply no one here to talk to about it. There aren't volunteers here that came based on faith because generally those volunteers go through religious organizations. However, I didn't. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me. I was so down and just very irritated at everything around me. One of those moods that no matter how hard you try you can't shake. My faith is being challenged here more than it ever has before and yesterday I just found myself alone and needing someone to talk to.
Thankfully I had a friend from home call me last night and talk me through it but I am just having days where it is so difficult to keep chugging. Don't get me wrong, I love this place, but I just sometimes feel defeated. My sleeping has not been getting better, worse if anything. I fall asleep but then I am waking up in the night and having these interactive dreams that prevent me from recharging at the end of a long day. My roommate isn't the biggest fan of me considering I end up yelling a lot during the night. I wake up in the morning feeling as if I haven't slept at all.
As for everything else; Ghana has put me in this place of love and hate. There are some days, like today, when I think I never want to have kids haha but then others when I know that the little demons will move past those obnoxious stages. Today I got peed on twice, kicked, hit, and got dirt thrown in my face. What a day! We have been moving into a very interesting stage with the children because in the morning we are trying not to pick the kids up as much because when they move into school age they are never picked up. I guess that makes sense but I am struggling to find a balance of giving them the physical affection I know they need and still understanding that if I give them too much it will be a drastic change.
My twi has been getting more developed and it is really helping me to communicate with the kids which is nice. I find that their favorite thing for me to do is spin them around by their arms or hang them upside down. As for the older boys, I have been thinking of ways I can minister to them more than I am. I have been helping a lot of them with reading and vocabulary and am hoping to have my mom bring some easy read young adult books for the boys. I have also been helping them with Math but that can be frustrating because I learned a different way than they are teaching. Good news- the administration really likes me and so does the house father. I was told that my innocence was very encouraging and that they knew I would be a good influence on the boys. I guess my lifestyle choices are paying off. I am very respected in a place where a lot of volunteers feel unwanted which is a great feeling. I have a lot more to write about random things but I will tell you about them tomorrow. :) Hope all is well!

Two Fears at Once

First off, I got a lot of people asking me what Akon was so I will clear that up for all of you who are confused. Akon is a hip-hop/rap artist that I would normally hate but am growing to like because it is played so much here in Ghana. Also, Twi is the next major language in Ghana next to English. I am working on learning it, a lot of the kids are helping me. These past few days I have been learning a lot about Ghanaian Culture and respect.
The house father and I have been having different discussions on the differences between their culture and Western culture and how that causes so many problems with volunteers. He was saying that western volunteers come here and try and control the kids the way they do at home and criticize the way they run the orphanage. We had a really nice conversation and I think he was really happy that I was willing to listen and gained more respect for me as a volunteer. I want to make sure that I am not only loving these kids but loving them in a way that is appropriate and respectful to their culture. I have to be very careful of that but I am being aware and find myself asking permission to do certain things for the kids. Also, the more consistent you are as a volunteer the more respect the Aunties and House fathers have for you.
Here is an interesting story. For those of you who don't know I am terrified of throw-up and not a big fan of cockroaches (who is really?). Well last night when I was hanging out with some of the kids we were talking about fears and I mentioned both of my fears. Well, right after I mentioned them a giant cockroach ran across the pipe I was sitting on (I was told I jumped 3 meters). Then about 30 seconds later one of the boys (Victor) got sick in the trench. However, the good news is I did not know he was actually sick. I thought he was faking it and spitting out water to scare me. I ran away anyway because I hate even fake throwing up. Well, turns out the boy was actually sick and he felt horrible for getting sick in front of me after me just saying I was afraid of it.
But the boys went and cleaned it up and talked me into staying a little longer before going home. This boy has been sick for a month and they are still not sure what is wrong with him. I am not sure why I found this all so strange but I was confronted with two of my fears straight in a row right after mentioning them. Yesterday, we had blue skies for the first time since I have been here because the clouds are becoming puffy, it should be rainy season here pretty soon. The temp. keeps rising and I find it harder to walk out of the house each morning. I am so thankful to be healthy and safe here and so thankful to hear from all of you constantly. Hope all is well.

Little Sister Claire

I am sorry my updates have been infrequent lately. I have just been spending so much time at the orphanage it is hard to get away and go to the Internet cafe. I spent all weekend at the orphanage for the most part even though I didn't have to. I had promised some of the older boys that me and John (another volunteer) would take them out for sodas on Saturday night because I had a monthly volunteer party to go to on Friday. So I went to the orphanage at about 1 in the afternoon on Saturday and didn't end up coming home until around 10:30pm. During the day I helped some of the boys with their homework and taught long division and multiplication (haven't done that in awhile).
I just feel so at home in the orphanage. All the boys treat me with respect and are comfortable enough to joke around with me. They all call me either: Little sister Claire, small girl, or acoco (means chicken). I find it funny that they call me Little sister Claire considering that I am older than most of them. Small girl- well that is self-explanatory. But Acoco comes from the way I dance. They wanted to see how I dance and so I was joking around and just started waving my arms around and they thought that I looked like a chicken so now they call me acoco which is the twi (local language) word for chicken.
Every night when I have to come home they will all walk me out of the compound and wave down a taxi. Then they will get the cheapest price possible for me to get home and tell the driver to get me there safe. I love spending time there and love learning about all the cultural differences. Then yesterday, Sunday, I went to the pool with a bunch of volunteers for the day. NO SUNBURN!!! yay! Then last night I went back over to the orphanage and hung out there until around 11pm.
One of the boys last night asked me if I liked Ghana and I told him I loved it. When he asked me why I was surprised I wasn't able to give a response. I fall in love with this country more and more each day and I can't put my finger on why. There are no blue skies, beautiful sunsets, or decent toilets. It smells bad constantly and there is trash all over the ground. So why am I falling in love with this place? I guess it is just something about the people and the atmosphere.
Funny story, I am actually starting to connect Akon with Ghana because that is all they listen to here. I know that when I get home and am missing Ghana all I will have to do is turn on some Akon and close my eyes. I know this e-mail is probably not what some of you were wanting but it is what I have to offer right now. There are moments when I just sit here and want to cry because I am overwhelmed but it is all good. I am in good spirits even when I feel helpless. What else are you interested to hear about so that I can write it in my next e-mail. I am going to try and put up pictures later this week, hopefully. I wish that everyone at home could come here and experience what I am feeling so that you would understand why my e-mails are all over the place. Oh yeah one more thing, it is getting hotter each day and we are working our way up to the hottest month of the year. I can feel the sun sizzle on my skin as soon as I walk out of the house. That is all for now. :) bye.

Worn Out for a Purpose

So this update was supposed to be sent yesterday but right before I was going to send it I got a phone call and I had to run back to the orphanage so this is the update I wrote yesterday:
These past two days have been busy ones. I am worn out but that is good. I have realized that at the end of each day if I am not worn out that means that I didn't give everything I have to offer to these kids. I know that having fun and going out with volunteers at night is important but the orphanage comes first. Going in the morning is hard. The kids are hard to stay patient with and even harder to keep going. I get peed on, pooped on, spit at, hit, and kicked. But I know that they need me there. My consistency is something new for them and for the Aunties and you can tell that they really appreciate it.
Then I go back in the afternoon around 1 or 2 until 6 when I go and have dinner. During that time I get to spend some time with the babies and toddlers but most of the time with the older kids. Being with the older kids is really what I need to keep going. I also know that this shouldn't always be easy and that is why I continue to go in the mornings even when I sometimes feel as if there is nothing more I can do. Over the past few days I have been struggling a lot with the boy from Darfur, Abdoulsalam. A woman came into the orphanage and gave him false hope of adopting him and taking him back to America.
Last night, I sat there as he cried with me and John (a volunteer who speaks French). The woman wanted us to explain to him that she might not be able to adopt him when she already told him she could. So he sat there sobbing. He was saying that at the home he has no friends, family, and can't even go to school (The Ghanaian government won't allow him to go to public school since he is a refugee without identification). He said he just wants to go back to the refugee camp and back to his home that does not exist anymore. I was so angry with this woman and hurting for Abdul so much. Someone once told me that I can't get myself emotionally involved with these kids because it is too hard. I know that is true but I don't know how to love them properly without getting myself involved. My heart is aching for this boy.
Jessie and I set up for some dancers and drummers to come to the home last night to put on a show for the kids and they seemed to really enjoy it. All the little boys and girl were dancing and even the older boys came to participate. The older girls stay in their home from 3:30-school the next morning. They won't tell me why; they say that they just don't want to come out. The past couple of days all of the kids have been running fevers and so I am hoping that I don't get sick.
Yesterday I never left the home, I spent from 8am-7pm there yesterday, which is why I didn't e-mail. I am also just so overwhelmed with emotion to write properly and in a way that makes sense to others. So I apologize if this e-mail seems a little off. I am enjoying my time here so much and everyday I am sad to leave the kids. Tomorrow is a Saturday and I don't have to work but I think I am going to go into the orphanage anyway. I'll write more later, I am just tired. I am good I am still just fighting to understand. But I know that there is something so much bigger than me working here. I am planning on making a little booklet for volunteers about what to do in the orphanage since they don't really tell you. Also, I am going to work on making a scheduled event for each week that volunteers can carry on while I am gone. I hope everything is good at home. Sorry for anyone who has been trying to call me, my phone has been acting up. Miss you.