Coming home this year was different, not easier, but different.
I still cried uncontrollably the entire way home-I let out six months of pent up emotions in one plane ride. I cried so hard and for so long that for two days after coming home my eyes were red and swollen. Its no wonder that the woman who originally told me check-in was closed for my flight from NYC to Chicago quickly changed her mind and told me to run for it. (I'm worried I might be blacklisted as a security threat on Delta)
But I landed in Chicago and my best friend was there to pick me up at the airport...I reached home where my parents were not supposed to be but my mom was waiting inside...the following day my dad cut his traveling short and flew home to see me...that same day my friend Max had a BBQ at his house with our other friends so that I wouldn't have to watch the Ghana vs. US match alone...and it continues...
People all over this country were waiting for me to arrive, waiting to hug me, waiting to support me with something that they know I struggle with.
But I also had a changed attitude.
During the past 2 years I have lost 5 people in my life. I have seen that my time here is not guaranteed. I've learned the importance of life the painful way, but I am glad I learned it.
I've realized that being angry with family and friends back home doesn't make me miss Ghana any less...but that instead, loving them and living life with them brings a happiness that can over-power even some of the hardest days.
I have seen that me coming back home safe is an amazing blessing. Just last week, I heard about the death of Nate Henn, a 25 year old American who was working with Invisible Children in Uganda. He was killed from terrorist bombings while watching the World Cup with local friends and children he mentors.
I acknowledge the burden I place on my family and close friends when I live in Ghana-EVEN if I have just as good of a chance of getting killed here.
So while leaving hasn't gotten easier, I've learned how to live here and be happy with where I am when I am there.
Today is the two year anniversary of the death of Adam Schatz, my should-be uncle. He was 26 years old when he was taken off life support a week after a karting accident.
So it is with Adam, Nate, and the other 4 people I have lost that I quote "From now on, for you, I'll be searching for those moments of always within never. Beauty, in this world."
The good news? I think I am finding that beauty.
