Empty stomachs

Here is something I pray that I will never become numb to: a child not having money to eat food when they are hungry.

I am not saying that it isn’t horrible when an adult is hungry/starving but there is something about a hungry child that is sickening to me. A child is so vulnerable and helpless; they are supposed to be provided for. Food is so critical to their physical and mental development.

There is a boy: in order to be respectful I will not use his name:

He is 13 years old and he wants to be a footballer. He trains for 2 hours a day with his football club and then trains for about an hour or more a day on his own. When training closes he runs 25 rounds (laps) around the pitch (field) doing sit-ups and push-ups at each corner. He tells me that he wants to grow big and strong so that he can live out his dream.

But how can he grow strong? Where is this body mass going to come from? If it is a good day he will eat 2 meals a day (not meals how we think…I am talking of a small bowl of rice with stew at night or bread with porridge in the morning). He has no fat on his body, his legs are like twigs and he continues to run and run not understanding that without putting substance into his body he will not be able to grow big and strong. But he just simply does not have the money to get food.

He is one of about 200 I personally know that live this way, and 1 of millions in the world that live this way or worse every day.

Some of these children are the faces you see on charity ads but some of them you might overlook. Maybe a boy looks like a healthy 9 year old but what you don’t know is that he is actually 15 but appears 9 from a consistent lack of food. Or maybe their feet are 4 sizes smaller than they should be and their organs inside are weakened but you can’t tell.

I know so many children in Ghana that can’t eat food when they are hungry. I calculated the amount I should spend a week on transportation/phone credit/food/anything extra for myself and it comes out to about 70 cedi a week. Yet somehow I end up spending close to 150 cedi a week…where is that other money going?

It is going to those children that I adore so much that haven’t eaten since morning and won’t eat unless I get them some food, or to the child who is sick with the flu and a high fever but can’t afford any medicine to reduce their fever and help their cold, or to the child that won’t be able to school that day if they don’t receive transportation money or some small money for food at school…

As for all those things I cannot use the funds from my project to pay for these children. The money I fundraised was not for this purpose and because it is tax deductible I have to use the money for the project I planned and record that. Giving out money at random does not fall under the non-profit sector. So I use my own money to pay for these things.

And I know some of you may be thinking that this is not an efficient use of my money and it is not sustainable, etc. but I will NEVER be able to eat a meal knowing that someone I love/adore is hungry and no one is able to provide food for them.

It all makes me so angry! and guess what?! My decision will remain the same EVERYTIME: I will choose to skip a meal before I tell one of these children that I don’t have money for them to eat.

Don’t become numb to the statistics, don’t get used to seeing starving children with flies on their faces, or kids that have knees that bulge out of their skinny legs! And don’t forget about those children who don’t appear to be wasting away or hungry, they are malnourished too! Don’t forget that there are lives and stories and personalities behind these faces that we see on television and in photographs; that these children have hopes, and dreams, fears, and hobbies.



Here are a few more pictures of the beautiful people in this country I love so much:

Nana Kodie:



Taki (words can't express my love for this boy):



Sleeping Malik after staying up all night for all night church:



An awake, happy Malik:



One of the best men in Ghana (genuine heart):



Evans:



Koemma and Kobi:



Douglas:



Zola:

Nothing Goes as Planned in Ghana

I have been really tired lately. I think my lack of sleep combined with trying to work out is getting to me and I might need to start sleeping more. There is a bench that sits under a tree next (my FAVORITE bench and tree in all of Ghana) to the football pitch and one day last week I was so tired before I went to work I slept on the bench for an hour before I left for work...that hour of sleep was better than any sleep I get during the night.

I had a really frustrating morning today that explains my Title of this blog post.

1) My visa has expired and I need to get it renewed but I am waiting for a Ghanaian friend to take me to his brother (an immigration officer) to renew it for me so that I don't have any trouble with the fact that it is expired. I have been waiting over a week now to go and every day his brother says he is still in Kumasi (a city 5 hours north west) and he will be back the next day. This morning I waited 3 1/2 hours while Thomas (my Ghanaian friend) finished training so that he could take me to his brother only to once again hear that he was not yet back from Kumasi...I missed 2 1/2 hours of work and didn't even get what I needed done.

2) By the time I got to the office some random Ghanaian was in my seat using the other half of Helena's desk and no one told me why or where I should go. So I sat in a chair against the wall and no one said anything about the fact that the place I come to work EVERY DAY was taken by a random person.

3) The internet in all of Ghana was down yesterday...as well as this morning. My job here in Ghana is pretty much impossible without access to e-mail and document exchange over the net.

Thankfully, things have improved since this morning...and I now have my desk and the internet works every few minutes. But I just have to remind myself that this is how Ghana is. Nothing goes as planned in Ghana and I need to embrace it for what it is.

I skipped work on Friday to take photos of a football match for my friend Dominic's project in Ghana and the match was supposed to start at 9am...it started at 11am. I was only told there was one match...there were two matches...their school closes at 3pm...we didn't leave there until 5:30pm.

Sometimes the tap (water) goes off right as I am about to take my bucket shower.
Sometimes the lights go off right when I need to charge my phone.
Sometimes the dogs bark outside my window right when I am about to fall asleep.

It is good to be able to laugh when things are going bad or don't go as I planned. I continue to learn how to be able to do this day after day...try not to let the frustrations get to me.

Here are another few things I thought I would mention:

1) It poured rain on Sat. late afternoon and when I say poured rain...I really mean that it was on a whole new level from the US. I had just hung my clothes out on the line to dry when it started to downpour so I had to run outside and collect them again. When I got back in the house I was watching the rain and all of a sudden there was rain streaming down the walls and leaking through the ceiling. Next thing I knew, the sewage gutter outside our gate was full and coming up the driveway. I immediately went for all the electrical outlets to shut them off but my family didn't even think of that.

I remember when Ali visited me and we traveled to the Volta Region and the hotel we stayed at had no power and they told us it was because it was raining. The woman told us that because the houses aren't built very well and since the people aren't well educated the government shuts off the electricity when it rains so that no one electrocutes themselves. On Sat. I was thinking how smart it was of the government and that the people in Accra don't seem educated enough either.

2) My camera is broken. I have had it for almost 6 years and it was bound to happen but it still stinks that I have to wait a month until my trip home to get it fixed. I will just have to use my nice camera until then.

3) I finally went out with some volunteers last night and had a great time. They are all the guys that volunteer at Cantonments and have been trying to get me to come out with them but because of my love of spending time with my local friends, my lack of energy, and the fact that I have to travel home alone at night I haven't been going but I was so happy I went last night. They are really good company and I was relieved to have a break from everything else.

4) Things at work are going really good. Sometimes I get paralyzed with what to tackle next but at least I have things to tackle. I am continuing to learn everyday and find out I can do things I didn't even know I was capable of doing.

5) I am really happy with my decision to stay at my current accommodation but it has been difficult with the kids at the Children's Home. They are furious about my decision not to stay at the home. They refuse to sit and listen to my explanation of why I had to make this difficult decision. We all have many chapters in our lives. I continue to believe that different things happen for a reason and that it will all be revealed in the end but the turning of the pages and ending of chapters is still painful. I remember so clearly the mind numbing pain I endured when I ran into complications at the orphanage in El Salvador and that chapter in my life was closing-but if I hadn't left there I would have never found Ghana.

So now, as I watch my relationships crumble before my eyes I know that it is all happening for a reason. The kids from Osu Children's Home that made up my life in Ghana still hold my heart, my love for them is no less and the desire to change their world is still running through my veins; but our relationship is changing. I read from a friends (Katie Shill) journal today that talked about the struggle of whether it was really best for kids for us to get so close to them knowing that we couldn't stay forever. So while my heart has been stolen and the brokenness tears me apart I need to accept the fact that maybe what is easiest for these kids is no longer to be so attached to me. And the way they are going about this is by being angry and hurtful towards me.

My struggles with the kids at the home is one that I am still trying to articulate into words so forgive me if it doesn't make sense to you why this is all happening or what exactly is happening. In reality, I am not quite sure what it all means and why it is all happening but I will continue to have faith that this change is opening another door. This is not as I planned it, but as I said...nothing goes as planned in Ghana.

This picture was taken my a journalist who came to do a story on some of the footballers at Cantonments and their families and I escorted him to a couple houses and Charles (on right) wanted him to take a picture of me with him and his mother:

Life is so good, even when things are bad

1) Yesterday was a big day for me! I ran 2 1/2 miles in Africa! That may seem like not a big deal to most of you but considering I suck at running in the US I am proud of myself for getting out in the heat and running. It felt great, I was disgusting afterwards.

2) Sometimes when you pass a school and it has a concrete wall around it it has paintings on the wall, I love that when they paint pictures of body parts on these schools they paint them as white body parts...not black body parts...random but funny

3) One of the U12 footballers has taken to calling me "his girl", not in a romantic way by any means but in a "that's my girl" kind of way. I don't know if that makes any sense to you. But I love it, while I was running yesterday he kept yelling "that's my girl, that's my girl, keep going"

4) Helena was accused of child trafficking today in a random newspaper...so messed up, sometimes Ghanaians see people doing good and they want to do tear them down in any way possible...she is angry but she continues to believe that "If God can be for us, who can be against us?"

5) Yesterday I had a mango, an entire pineapple, and two bananas for lunch...GLORIOUS!

6) I am working on a video for my project to briefly explain what it is about. I got the motivation from my friend Dominic who just completed his video for his project. He is doing amazing things. Watch this video if you want to learn about his cause.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuOPtf6Sg5s

Learning what is Important in Life

I will not be moving into Osu Children's Home today or ever.

I have finally realized what is important in life.

I went to the home yesterday to see if they had prepared the room for me and if it was finally available and they treated me like I was coming to take something from them. The administration at Osu Children's Home is cold and rude. Passive aggressive is the correct word. Between the glares, and the eye rolling, and the heavy sighs, and cold silence they make me feel unwanted. You would never guess that I was trying to pay them to stay there. I won't get into too many details of what happened but the bottom line is that the room is available for me to stay in but because of the way the treat me I refuse to move in there.

Why should I move to a place that doesn't want me and will talk behind my back? Right now I have a family I stay with that loves having me around and take great care of me. Yes, I don't have any privacy and there are times when I get frustrated with not having space to spread out in but I will take the happiness they give me over my own space any day.

I feel unhappy and dark every time I walk through the gates of the orphanage and I can't handle that emotional weight every day when I come home. I know I have spoken about this before but there is a darkness in Ghana that sometimes I feel that I have never felt in the US...and I refuse to live where I feel that darkness. So I will choose to sleep on my small bed that has missing lats, without a fan, without a place to unpack my things, but surrounded by a family that loves me and has taken me into their home (without pay) as their daughter.

On a different note, I am trying to learn how to eat healthy in Ghana and let me tell you...that is difficult. I am not a footballer so I can not eat all the carbs that they have for every meal and the amount of oil they use kills me as well. So I think I will continue to have my egg and bread in the morning, try and eat fruit for lunch, and then for dinner it will vary...some nights I will still do rice but I will look for other things made with Engushi (a seed), beans, and egg. Dominic and I are determined to find a way.

My blood is thinning...I am starting to get used to the temperature. I have been cold the past two nights sleeping (it has been rainy though--unusual for March in Ghana).

Work is going well. My cousin Alex is amazing and helping me get a website started for All Hands on Deck for Africa. We have now bought our domain and are starting on the designing...VERY EXCITING!!!

I am so thankful for all the hard lessons here because in this I am continuing to grow and learn. My eyes are re-opened every day, and I am so thankful for that.

Me with Sarfo, wearing his boots (cleats) :)

I think I want to buy a bike

I am seriously considering buying a bike to ride to and from work...we will see what happens with that.

I am supposed to move into the Children's Home today...I haven't packed any of my stuff up because I don't think it is actually going to happen. I am OK if it doesn't happen. I have actually become quite used to where I am living so it would not be the end of the world if I can't move yet.

Everything in Ghana is great. I don't have too much to say. I have spent the past week working a lot to make up for my week off. I am reading the book "Nonprofit kit for Dummies" cover to cover and it is helping a lot.

I cooked Jollof rice this weekend and learned how to cook groundnut soup and Omo tuo (rice balls). I love that I am continuing to learn about the culture and lifestyle here.

Sometimes it is hard to be so far from home when things happen. I am praying for the Radon family and I wish so much that I could be there to support you during this hard time.

A bucket shower to top off a great day :)

Yesterday was such a good day.

It was one of those days where you have moments where you are so happy and joyful that you could cry...strange feeling but an amazing feeling.

I went in to work early to make up for a week of lost time. Work wasn't anything special and I left around 2pm to go and meet Helena's husband to finish up his January newsletter and get that sent out...but it was after all this that made day got so great.

From my meeting with Kwame (Helena's husband) I went back home to drop off my laptop and head to the Children's Home.

I haven't been that happy to be at the Children's Home in a long time. I went there because I was meeting Edward. Edward is one of the boys that lives in my group home in Adenta. I haven't seen him yet since coming to Ghana because he has been at school in the Eastern Region. He has been calling me once a week to check up on me and yesterday he came from Adenta to the Children's Home to meet me there so we could talk. There are no amount of words I can give to explain the pure joy that came with seeing his smiling face. Edward is going places. He is one of the most intelligent boys I have ever met and is interested into going into law. We sat talking for a long time about how difficult it was to be boarding at Senior High and all their rules etc. etc.

As I was sitting talking with Edward there was a white lady that walked up to me and ask if I was Claire. I had no idea how she knew who I was but as soon as I said yes she embraced me in a hug. I found out seconds later that her name was Laurie and she was adopting one of the smaller boys named Osey. She has heard all about my project from a mutual friend of ours Kary (a flight attendant).

After talking with her and her giving me such words of encouragement Abdul walked through the gates of the orphanage. For those of you that don't remember, Abdul is the refugee from Sudan, that came to Ghana two years ago the week I came to Ghana because his father was killed in Darfur and he didn't know where his mother and sister were. When he came to Ghana he spoke no English and now he is fluent. He has now been adopted by a woman who lives just outside of Boston (how lucky for me!!) but they are still working on getting his Sudanese passport etc.

He has been staying a little ways outside of Accra during this whole process and he came to the home yesterday to see me. He then told me that Sandy (his new mom) landed in Ghana that morning (another flight attendant) and they wanted me to come to dinner at the Novotel Hotel so that I could finally meet her...we have been trying to meet since I found out about Abdul's adoption in October.

So before we went to dinner I sat talking with Francis, Kwesi, and Edward (3 of the boys from my group home). I was so encouraged after talking to them. They have all been staying there regularly which is a HUGE improvement from last May. The transition period was difficult but it seems that it is finally all coming together. I was so encouraged yesterday after seeing my boys and then Abdul on top of that. When the boys (from my group home) close for vacation this April we are going to have a plan for what they will do on their time off. We are planning on re-painting the walls inside the house and building a Vegetable garden in their backyard as well as focusing on learning how to cook a different meal each week.

But for dinner- it ended up being me, Moses, Abdul, Osey, Laurie, Sandy, Auntie Janette (one of the house mothers-really sweet), her son Barnabas, and another boy from the home named Prince. We all got Pizza and just sat talking for three hours. Abdul and Moses have grown so much I can't even believe it. At the end of this post I am going to show you pictures of them from two years ago and then a picture of them now so you can see. They have both grown about a foot and are turning into young men.

To top off my night I went home and had the most amazing bucket shower. It was such an encouraging day and so good to see all the people I love so much and connect with people that love the kids as much as I do.

Picture of Abdul from 2 years ago (far left):



Picture of Moses from 2 years ago:



Moses, me, and Abdul yesterday at dinner (LOOK HOW MUCH THEY'VE GROWN!!):



Me and Victoria (Victor's twin):



Me and Edward:



Edward and Francis:

Ali visits Ghana

It has been a really long time since I have blogged. I didn't have internet access for the week that Ali was here and to be honest, it was kind of nice not to do anything related to technology.

Ali's visit here reaffirmed my complete unconditional love for this country and its people. I have never been so convinced in my life of why I am here and how much this place has become a part of who I am and without it, I wouldn't be the same person. It has become like another organ that I can't function without.

Even with all the frustrations and difficulties that exist I wouldn't have it any other way.

I was reminded of how much I love:

1) That the temperature drops 10 degrees instantly right before it starts to downpour- its Ghana's little warning to find a place to hide.

2) That friendly faces are sitting everywhere you go, while the sad part of this is that it is caused by unemployment, I am thankful that there is always someone there to wish me "good morning" "good afternoon" "good evening" and "good night"

3) That one small country has desert, beach, rain forest, and mountains...maybe I don't get the four seasons but I still have variety when I need it.

4) That fresh air is more rewarding than air conditioning

5) That even though there are potholes, there are drivers who know how to perfectly maneuver around them...well almost perfectly

6) That you can buy giant bread muffins made out of sweet bread off the top of a womans head for 50 pesewas (approx. 36 cents)

7) that there is no such thing as a muffin in Ghana...rather they are called rock buns

8) that they have grammar lessons on the TV during commercial breaks. Some speak of the correct usage of the word brouhaha; explaining that the words fence and wall are not interchangeable; explaining that you can't pick someone's thoughts, only their brain; and the proper usage of the word deluge

9) that Ghanaian women have beads for their waist...why hadn't we thought of that?

10) that everyone shares their food. you are constantly "invited" to eat their meal with them

11) that everything you eat can be squeezed out of a plastic sachet (even a snickers bar--Saviola taught me this)

12) that when you yawn Ghanaians ask you not to accidentally swallow them

13) that Ghanaians can tell when I am thinking and warn me that I shouldn't do it so often

14) that Ghanaians never give directions straight but rather point you to a location with a person closer to the destination so that they can do the same thing until eventually you get close enough where a person will just walk you there themselves.

15) that they can sense my love for this place and call me African woman

16) that you make friends everywhere you go and even if it has been two years and they can't remember your name they will call out to you and admit that their mind isn't working

17) that everyone is praying for you--Christian or Muslim they are praying to their God that you are safe

18) that they control Ghanaians driving speed with speed bumps because they don't trust they will follow signs.

19) that anything can be bought at the window of your car...even a box of kleenex

20) that Ghanians want to know us- they want to sit and talk with us- for us to be completely submerged into their culture

21) that they have bamboo goal posts

22) that some of the terms of endearment include: sweet potato and sugar banana

23) that hotels don't need to be expensive and extravagant to be enjoyable and relaxing

24) that they do things even though they are counterproductive: bathe before going to football training and sweep the dirt away from the other dirt outside?

25) that they create recipe books that don't actually tell you how to make the food start to finish; it assumes you already know how to prepare the basics such as stew and corn dough

26) that if the holiday falls on a Sat. they will take of the following Monday

27) that cats serve a purpose---they eat cockroaches

I could go on forever: there are a million things I have listed in past blog such as bucket showers, and getting a dirt tan etc but I won't go all the way back.

It was such a good week for me to be able to show off why I love this place so much and remind myself that it is all worth it. The occasional frustrations, sadness, anger, homesickness...it is all worth it.

Me and Ali the day she arrived:



Ali relaxing at Big Millys in Kokrobite (a beach an hour outside Accra)



Me and Ali after a day at the beach in Kokrobite:



Me and Ali at the Wli falls in the Volta Region:



Ali hanging at the breakfast table before heading to the falls:



Hotel at Wli Falls:



Ali and Tracy (Okos' niece):